Went to Cabo, pregnant. Had a baby. Collected EI. Took baby on a road trip, took baby to Mexico. Lots of baby related firsts.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn’t make any last year. For next year, I resolve to send 5 thank you letters, and to attempt to transition back to work gracefully.
Well, David’s cousin died, but I only met him once. Hard on the family, when a teenager dies.
5. What countries did you visit?
David and I went to Cabo in January, a road trip with Jess to Montana in the summer, and to Cancun with Jess in November.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2012?
No depression would be nice. More money than EI brought in will also nice. I don’t know – the second half of this year has been pretty great.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 6 – Jess’s birthday. Pretty much the biggest day of my year. (Even if the labour itself was more days than that.)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Kept a baby alive with my boobs. Had a totally awesome child.
Well, it might not read as failure to others, but I absolutely felt like a failure because I failed to birth Jess and needed the c-section. PPD felt pretty failurific. My milk drying up didn’t feel great either. Yeah. Bodies, man. I feel that mine failed me a bit this year, and then I blame me.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
C-section recovery sucked. PPD also sucked.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Vacations. Always vacations.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
David is such a great, amazing dad and partner.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
American politics. God, I’m glad I’m Canadian.
14. Where did most of your money go?
I don’t know. So many months this year were spent in a depressive episode followed by a certain amount of flatness. The highs were there, but they weren’t generally something I was excited about in the lead up.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
I sang this song to Jess while crying, for the first couple of months of her life. Mumford & Sons, Little Lion Man.
“But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn’t I, my dear?”
But then things got better.
it’s keeping me awake
It’s the house telling you to close your eyes
Some days I can’t even dress myself.
It’s killing me to see you this way.
‘Cause though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.”
Tell them all, they’ll love in my shadow
And if they try to slow you down
Tell them all, to go to hell”
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Definitely happier.
b) thinner or fatter? I’m no longer pregnant! Much, much smaller in the waist area.
c) richer or poorer? Pretty much a net neutral. Spent less, made less, spreadsheets show that this year was about even.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Taking Jess to the swings in the summer. We went on tons of walks, but rarely to the swings. Otherwise, it’s been a pretty ‘achieving my goals’ kind of year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Crying. Feeling sad. Doubting myself.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home. David’s parents came for a day, my mom for the afternoon. Dinner at my aunt’s. Then the rest of the week hanging out and watching movies and playing video games and trying to get the baby to figure out why we’re ripping open presents.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
With the baby. It took awhile, but now I can’t imagine the world without her.
Can’t choose. Community, Parks and Rec, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Doctor Who, Big Bang Theory, Modern Love, Always Sunny in Philadelphia… We watch a lot of sitcoms and British shows, and I love them all. I had a lot of time on the couch nursing, and watched the entire run of West Wing, and HIMYM, Gilmour Girls and Vicar of Dibley.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
24. What was the best book you read?
I read over a hundred books. I couldn’t even start to pick a favourite.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Japandriods. Of Monsters and Men. Mumford and Sons.
26. What did you want and get?
To have a healthy baby.
27. What did you want and not get?
To have a happy post partum experience, and fall instantly in love with my baby, and other such idealized ideas of motherhood.
Um. I think we saw like, two movies in theatres? A Bond one? And maybe something with Jason Segel? That one. Sure.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31. Jess and I had a totally normal day, and then I got presents in the evening from David and Jess.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Yoga pants. Tops that allowed nursing. In a word: comfortable.
32. What kept you sane?
David. Books. Exercise. Friends. The internet.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jason Segel. Yum.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Abortion in America. How is this still a debate?? I know I said that last year, and yet, here we are again.
35. Who did you miss?
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I’ve made a couple of mom-friends (or, friends I made through the fact I had a baby) and they are both pretty great.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Life is hard, but it gets better. Eventually.