It’s amazing how little it takes to emotionally derail a day, even now. A screaming teething baby who can only be comforted for short intervals. PTSD insomnia. (I joke. But 45 minutes after I go to sleep she wakes up every fucking time, and now I can’t go to sleep because I know when I do she’ll wake up. So I lie there and can’t fall asleep instead of only getting a fragment of sleep.) Planning my day around a Starbucks visit (I KNOW) and getting there only to be told that they’re out of lactaid milk, so no latte for me. A 35 minute wait at the public health clinic, a place I’ve never waited for more than 5 extra minutes before.
It’s 12:35 in the morning. She’s only been in bed for 2 hours, so it won’t even be hunger – just pure baby sadness screaming at me from the monitor.
It’s going to be another long, long night.