So. It’s been a month. I have a one month old daughter. (Am I seriously old enough to say that? It still doesn’t feel like it.) And things are starting to even out. So let’s go though some of the highs and lows.
- Healthy baby. I mean, obviously this should top the list.
- I lost all the pregnancy weight within a week, and then another 5 pounds on top of that. Yay! My old jeans even fit, which is excellent, because I finally got tired of pants with elastic waistbands. (In fairness, I do still spend most of my time in yoga or pj pants. But I can dress normally when I leave the house now.)
- My stretch marks (which cover my stomach in angry red lines) are starting to fade. Some are already silvery. Which is nice, because there are so very many of them.
- The last doctor I asked said I could drive at 4 weeks, so SOLD. I drove us to the doctor today, and it did feel kind of freeing.
- I managed to lift the baby in the car seat. It only hurt a little bit.
- We went wandering through Inglewood on Saturday and to the farmer’s market on Sunday with Jessie in a carrier, and she slept through the whole time. Let’s pretend that means she liked it.
- Jess is a decent sleeper, and often gives us 4-7 hours in a stretch at night. That’s bookmarked by cluster feeding, but it’s nice to get a solid sleep in.
- Marital relations have resumed! Celebrations were had by all.
- Breastfeeding is going well. She’s a chubby little baby who eats well. I’m pumping to get a freezer full of milk so I can return the pump, but she’s now entirely breast fed. (After her severe weight loss in the hospital due to her tongue tie, she needed to be formula supplemented for a few days. She rejected the formula as soon as was getting enough to eat from me.) She will, thankfully, take a bottle of breast milk when required.
- We’ve already had two date nights – once to a Flames game, and another night for our two year wedding anniversary. We dressed up and ate a wonderful 3 course meal at the restaurant were we’d had our family dinner before our wedding. Bison cross ribs are beyond delicious.
- The baby? She is very cute, and already collected a series of nicknames, including Baby Burrito, Queen of the Otter People, Champ and Cross Eyes. You can probably guess that we laugh at her a lot.
- Jessie is a total mini-me. Pic to follow, but it’s nuts. There is no question to anyone that she is my daughter. She does, however, have David’s fingers and lips and ears. And my father’s lack of chin. And my paternal family’s toes! I just noticed that the other day, and somehow, seeing the slight webbing between the 2nd and 3rd toe (a trait I share with several cousins) really brought it home that this is flesh of my flesh. (Which is odd, what with carrying her around inside me for 36 weeks and all, but it still hit me hard and I wobbled and giggled at this clear proof of clan-ship.)
- My belly, never that firm, is pure jelly. Stretchmarked wobbly jelly.
- I still can’t exercise, and I miss the hell out of the endorphins. Some movements still cause strain.
- I don’t feel any sort of let down sensation, so I’ll often look down to discover I have soaked through my breast pads and shirts, leaving me with big wet circles. It’s mainly just funny. It may get less funny as I start to leave the house…
- I have had a hell of a bad time with baby blues / PPD. I’m finally at the point where I don’t by default cry every single day, and that’s a real improvement. No, seriously, a really, really bad time. As in, the OB wouldn’t let me leave the hospital bad. As in, I’m being weekly followed by a variety of doctors and nurses bad. As in, antidepressants have already been put on the table bad. I’m holding off, because things seem to be lifting. I mean, I did have to wake David up the other night to cry all over him, but I don’t cry every time he leaves the house now. Progress.
Yeah, actually, that final con is pretty much all that needs to be said, right? Things are hard, but they are getting better slowly, and that’s all I can ask for. In the mean time, I shall go feed the hungry baby and nom her round cheeks and marvel at the tiny toes.