I refuse to waddle

I point blank refuse to waddle.  I’m now 34 weeks pregnant and I’ve managed to hold off on it yet.  I’m not convinced I can go the distance without it happening, but I work damn hard to keep good posture.  The very few times I’ve slipped in to a waddle, I stopped immediately because it made my back hurt.  Probably an advantage to being front heavy my whole life, so the balance change isn’t so extreme for me.

I have had to started wearing a support belt when we’re heading out in the evenings.  It helps, as the belly gets heavier and heavier.  It does, however, look ridiculous.

The Belly

Another odd thing is that not only can I not gain weight, I actually lost a kilo over the last two weeks.  (A little more than 2 pounds.)  It’s crazy.  I’m eating decently, now that I have effective heartburn medication.  Yeah, I can’t eat as much at a meal, due to Skipper’s butt pressing on my stomach, but I’m still eating.  It’s bizarre.  We had a 34 week ultrasound last week* and the tech estimated the kid weighs 6.5 pounds.  I have put on a total of 8.  Bizarre, I tell you.  At least they can’t accuse me of eating too much and making the baby too big (it is measuring heavy for the gestational age), because clearly my body is doing whatever the hell it wants regardless of my feelings or habits.  On the upside, I can’t imagine how hard it would be to move if I put on twice that weight or more, and well, losing the baby weight should be pretty easy, I hope.

So, I refuse to waddle, but I may in fact have started to grunt.  Like while trying to roll over in bed, or getting out of bed, or changing the cross of my legs while seated, or while walking.  Sometimes because of the discomfort, and sometimes because damn this kid’s a strong kicker.

Pregnancy, man.  A constant party of ever evolving wacky symptoms.**  But hey, at leat the kid is quiet and doesn’t scream and while it may pee constantly,*** at least there are no diapers yet, right?  SO bizarre.

*In Alberta, you only get a 12 week and 20 week ultrasound, unless they suspect problems.  Turns out, because my size 12 self was so fat before I got pregnant, they feel I need extra watching.  Seriously, I hate the BMI system.  I starting working out 5 days a week years ago, and only stopped around 6 months pregnant due to pelvic floor issues.   I had super bulky muscles.  Muscles =/= fat, unless you look at a BMI chart, and now no one will take this fairly odd weight issue seriously.  Harumph. 

**We’re not going to talk about my nipples, but let me just say, damn, pregnancy is weird. 

*** A pint a day!  A small alien lifeform is PEEING INSIDE ME IN LARGE VOLUMES.  There is no way that’s not weird.


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