Well, I guess I should mark my intention or resolution or what ever for the year. After all, 2012 is the End of The World As We Know It, right? So may as well have a good last year… *eye roll* (Side note – I took a lot of Latin America Studies courses, and it’s not like the Mayans actually believed that the end of the Long Count Calendar equalled the end of the world. Just the end of a major cycle. And also? Let’s please not forget that as a cultural empire, they collapsed around 900 AD. They may not have, in fact, been all-knowing, if they didn’t see that coming…)
Anyway, 2012 is going to be a year of massive transitions for me. What with, you know, giving birth and all. And the whole not working for the vast majority of the year thing. And it is, on the whole, rather terrifying.
I have had some form of job since I was 18, on top of years of babysitting before that. There’s only been one 3 month period when I wasn’t working, and it was a circumstantial thing involving crushing depression. And I think I may have picking up shifts at a couple of part time jobs during that period. I’ve never collected Employment Insurance, I’ve never been out of work. I worked 3 part time jobs for most of university, picking up shifts as I could. (Catering, concerts and special events for the city. Luckily all were occasional evenings and thus never interfered with school. And I got to see a ton of great concerts and work a ton of weddings, which was helpful when it came time to plan my own. Once you’ve tied on a couple of hundred chair covers? Knowing how much time it took and therefore cost? You too would never have it done either.) I got an interview as the week I applied for my first job out of university, and 7.5 years later, I’m still at the same company. (If I make it to 10, I can get a 10 piece cuisinart cookware set! You need 25 before you can get the kitchen aid mix master.) At any rate, I’ve always been a good little worker bee, and now, for the first time in my adult life, I won’t be. Oh, I’m sure I’ll be working very hard, what with the small creature I need to keep alive and don’t think I don’t know how much work that sounds like, but it’s a hell of a lot different than going to work and sitting in my fancy chair with my wonderful view on the Rocky Mountains and creating reports and managing data and ordering pizza.
And the whole keep a small creature alive thing is pretty damn terrifying in it’s own rights. I mean, David and I are responsible for Skipper for, well, the REST OF OUR LIVES. The panic from that has finally subsided a little, but only a little.
It means that I can’t make plans for 2012, beyond to remember to breathe, and to surrender to the experience. To enjoy the highs and lows of our tiny baby, and the blessings of having a year at home to do so. It means that so much will change, and that hopefully we can make sure than some things don’t, too much. That we choose to hold on to the core of US. The travel (2 trips to Mexico already planned for 2012) and the rock solid foundation of love and the belief that the best New Year’s Eve is spent in the basement, just the two of us, with Lego and bubbles. So instead of making any plans for this year, because I have no idea of what the hell is going to happen or how our lives will change, beyond the fact that I know they will, I herby resolve to surrender to the experience.
Hey, it’s a goal I might actually succeed at… I hope.